First ever blog post

I've never posted a blog till now because I've always thought that blogging was an essentially pointless and narcissistic thing to do, so I guess by my own admission, in publishing this I've become a pointless narcissist. Today's post is going to be mercifully brief because it's late and I can't be arsed to stay up too late navel-gazing.

So what's prompted me to write this? Well, a couple of things. Since I was very young I've thought writing a diary would be a splendid idea yet I've never got round to it because other things (such as cutting my toe nails, reading the ingredients on jars of pasta sauce etc) seemed more important. Obviously the blog is just a modern version of a diary and like 99% of diaries will never be read by anyone other than their authors, if their authors can bring themselves to read the dross they've spewed out. I've also harboured a desire to write since I was 10 years old, and never really written anything creative.

But the thing that's got me writing now was a free booklet in the Grauniad (yes, I read that) on writing comedy by Richard Herring, who suggested writing a blog with daily observations in order to help write comedy. I don't think for a moment I'll ever become a comedy writer but like the theoretical monkeys at typewriters eventually producing the Complete Works of Shakespeare, perhaps in the steaming pile of shit that is my writing there might be a if not a few pearls, a tasty chocolate chip or two.

More about me in future blogs, but I want to have a mini-rant now and if I can't do that in my own blog then where else can I? On the street with a megaphone, perhaps, but that would make me just the sort of person I'm going to rant about. For I want to rant about inconsideration. Are there more inconsiderate people around now than before? I don't know for sure – there's no scientific measure that I know of. But I have an unscientific feeling that people are less considerate now than before. I base this on my recent experiences on the train, which I've started taking into work every day since fuel prices shot up to such an extent that Southeastern's extortionate fares became cheaper what I was paying for petrol. In ordinary circumstances I love this method of transport and far prefer it to driving; I get to read or have a kip, or do the crossword. But sadly, some of my fellow passengers (not the regulars, I hasten to add) are selfish bastards and the experience can become extremely unpleasant. Things that annoy me no end:

1. Playing music through the speaker on a mobile phone. My God, that pisses me off! What's more, it's always execrable music. It's as if the owners are saying "Listen everyone. I have a really shit taste in music and I want the whole world to know it by playing it through speakers which make it sound even worse!" Usually it's schoolkids that do this, even though they have headphones, they want to "share" their music. Little shits! Sod's law says that this will primarily happen on days when I've forgotten to take my MP3 player so I have hear every bloody beat. I once told a couple of girls to switch their music off (a minute too late - they already had, after driving me insane with it for 20 minutes), and instead of backing me up, a fellow passenger (who it turned out hadn't paid his ticket) had a go at me! Some help he was.
   
   
2. Another mobile phone one – not switching the sound off the keypad and then sending a text message. This is usually older people who haven't figured out how to turn the sound off. Why is the default setting when you get a new mobile always with the sound on? Unless you're blind, you don't need a bloody beep to tell you that you've pressed a key – you can see it on the screen! Stupid mobile phone companies.
   
   
3. Not letting people get off the train before getting on it. Logic dictates that letting people off will make it easier for everyone to get on and get a seat, but oh no these people can't wait an extra 10 seconds. They have to barge past you. Bastards!
   

I may well return to this list at some point in the future but for now I'm off to bed. Navel-gazing over for today.